You're a womanizer and a bitch.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
