the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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