Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
