She's JV to your varsity
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
