So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
