i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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