At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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