My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
