I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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