Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
