I can tuck mytits in my pants
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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