This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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