I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize