I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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