I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
