just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize