and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nicole vs. Life
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
