I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
