im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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