At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
