bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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