New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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