the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
