so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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