i was rollin on her like bob the builder
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
