when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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