I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
