Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
