Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
