I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
