my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
