idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my poor anus
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
