You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
