words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
