I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
