Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
