I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
