wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
