I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
