I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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