Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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