We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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