You're completely useless in the revolution.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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