So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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