it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it was like eating out sand paper
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize