She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
