my mouth tastes like poor choices
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
