Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
