And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
