My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
