I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
