And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
