VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
