I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
