But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So many bounce houses so little time
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
