i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
