I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
